I had the occasion this past week to be in company with people whom my wife and I used to attend church with.
You could tell the relationships which had blossomed beyond the four walls of our former church. You could feel the difference in the level and depth of relationship as opposed to the ones where our whole relationship was based on what we did together at church. In one word....awkward! You could sense the uneasiness of not knowing how to handle the situation, so we chose to focus our attention on the ones with whom we had deeper relationships with, making it a little more enjoyable.
What needs to be remembered is that if your whole relationship is based on serving together at a church with nothing outside of that sphere, then there is no commonality beyond that. It doesn't matter how long you have known each other within that sphere: once commonality is removed, there is only what used to be and the divide of where you are now.
You may question, "Can these relationships be salvaged?" I believe they can, although you may need to take into consideration outside influences if the parting was of a tumultuous nature. In actuality, our relationship with one of the people that still attends there has only just begun to blossom since our parting.
To me, if any lesson is to be learned from our outing it would be this: make sure to foster and nurture friendships that go beyond the four walls of the church. Realize that some people just will not know how to handle their encounters with you.
I would tread carefully here, buddy. Did you ever think that the "awkwardness" could have been caused by something other than your departing that particular church? Let's not be so quick to judge others and think we know what's going on in their hearts. I understand you are speaking out of hurt, but there are better ways to work through hurt than casually bash places you've been on a blog.
ReplyDeleteAfter waking up this morning I really feel like I needed to apologize for how my comment last night was delivered. While I feel like what I said held truth it was not spoken in live. And for that I am deeply sorry and ask for your forgiveness. I responded out of immediate reaction yo what I read. I really do hope and am praying for you today that you are able to move past any contempt you may have towards any church and not let it keep you from all that God has for you. Hopefully you are already doing that :)
ReplyDeleteanonymous,
ReplyDeleteI think perhaps you are reading more into my post than what is actually there.
There is no animosity, no anger, no hurt, no bitterness. I worked through that years ago.
I have not bashed any church or people. That would be conterproductive. Nor have I placed judgement on anyone.
My intent with this blog is to help people through or better yet avoid such as I have experienced.
Peace
Anonymous,
ReplyDeletethank you for the apology. It is appreciated very much.
Again, I hope you understand that bashing or judging someone is not what I am trying to accomplish. I am simply sharing my thoughts, and hopefully wisdom learned from going through what I have gone through in the hopes of helping someone else.